Brownie Points

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The sections aims to help you gain “BROWNIE POINTS” with your partner. If you have never been in this position before, take all the advice you can. As you will soon realise that not every pregnancy is the same

It’s an unwritten rule that from the moment they hear the words “I’m pregnant”, expectant fathers are immediately indebted to their wives.

Fathers to be, for the next ten months prepare to lose a lot of arguments and bear the brunt of a lot of frustration. Yes, it can seem unfair, but how many of us would genuinely like to trade positions?

Here are some tips on how Fathers to be can gain all-important brownie points to show her how much you appreciate her and to hopefully make the ride a lot smoother!

Tip:

  1. Start working on your patience. No matter how much you have now, you’ll need a lot later. When you feel impatience creeping in keep in mind that it’s probably just her hormones, but don’t, under ANY circumstances, say this to her (expectant fathers are usually wrong, remember!)

  2. Get your wife a gift for when the newborn arrives. Make it as personal and thoughtful as possible.

  3. In the third trimester don’t come home and ask, “What did you do all day?” when she is napping and the house is filthy. She is a baby factory and is tired.

  4. Just like the wedding was hers so is the job of baby room decorator. You have to let her dress the baby (boy or girl) exactly as she wants. Expectant fathers don’t have the same “nesting” instinct, so indulge her.

  5. Get out of the way when she starts cleaning the house. This is another characteristic of nesting.

  6. Show that you love and appreciate your wife for what she is going through to bring this child into your lives. She will more than likely be aware that there are times when her hormones make her difficult to live with, so you must constantly reassure her that you still love her. Tell her so as often as possible and shower her with hugs and kisses.

  7. Talk to the bump. Not only will this show her how much you want to be a dad, it is also a great way for expectant fathers to begin bonding with the baby. From as early as 3 months the foetus has already begun to develop its hearing and as the months progress it can recognise and distinguish voices. points
  8. ` Give her a lot of support. Fathers to be often report having to do more than their share of cooking, cleaning and shopping in the final months of pregnancy. After the baby is born continue to help around the house. Stay up with the baby some nights so that she can get some rest.
  9. Let her yell at you. Especially during labour.

  10. Mothers to be can feel very undesirable when they are heavily pregnant. Fathers to be must tell them they look beautiful, every 17 minutes at least!

  11. Ask her often what you can do to help. Make sure you stay in tune with her needs.

  12. Clean up after yourself.

  13. Rub her lower back, feet and legs. These are the areas that start to hurt closer to the birth.

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  14. Expectant fathers become a craving courier service. Don’t “stock up” on her cravings or she’ll probably eat them much sooner than expected. This isn’t healthy for your wife or the baby. Some women have very strange cravings. Be prepared to run to the shops and get strange looks when you only buy pickled onions and peanut butter!

  15. Do not tell her she looks fat when she asks. Fathers to be, practice your quick-fire response now. “Do I look fat?” “Of course not!” pts
  16. Be prepared for “mood swings”. Her hormones are changing, what seems to be daily. She will be happy one minute, crying and depressed the next, and in a screaming rage about something the next. (Not ALL women are quite that bad, but you HAVE to be prepared for it.)
  17. DO NOT take it personally when/if she says she hates you for what you did to her. While she may need the massages, she will also want loving. HOWEVER, there will be times she will NOT want you to touch her. When that happens, don’t force the issue.

Every expectant father has a different experience and a different story to tell. Just keep very open minded be prepared for ANYTHING. Pregnancy needn’t put your relationship under stress. As long as you remain patient and understanding it can actually reinforce your relationship and can bring you both closer together.

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Feel free add what some tips for your fellow expectant fathers

5 Responses to “Brownie Points”

  1. munzilla on November 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    It makes me uncomfortable when someone just reaches out and pats my belly..Then I have some people touch my belly and it seems totally natural. So for me It depends on who it is. I’ve had 1 person ask if she may touch my belly in 34 weeks of pregnancy and it made my day that she would have enough respect to ask…

  2. Fabian on December 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Epic site. I am definitely looking forward to seeing more articles

  3. Alex on December 1st, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Great site. I’m not alone…

  4. Rebecca on January 12th, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    My partner came home last night excited to tell me why maybe I hadn’t felt the baby kick yet at 17 weeks!
    The info was direct from an ex-shag at work!!!
    This is NOT how you win brownie points fellas - if you want to help with vital info google from a reliable source not the office bike!

  5. Stephen on September 14th, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Great help but what about when it’s twins on the way??

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